January 2nd Mom was served with divorce papers. Father dearest had been talking about the idea of a divorce for a month or so before, wondering if that could help get more state aid. Since I thought he would find that being legally single wouldn't help her much and he would just put the idea out of his head I referred him to a few family lawyers and just sat back waiting for him to forget it. I misjudged him. He is pursing the divorce whether she gets extra money or not. We fought over that one for a while and probably will again, considering that the first court date is in March. I'm not able to say more on his part in this, condemning or redeeming him, as everyone has different factors influencing their judgments of people and I try to avoid adding my emotional b.s. to someone else's bias. He has promised he wants to help us and keep supporting her as much as necessary. Personally, I like things in ink.
Thursday, Moma and I go up to the Lawyer's office and the papers assigning me legal guardianship of her and her affairs. I wonder if this is what having a child is like? Hopefully, I'll learn to be more affectionate to my children. The Dr. we went to last Tuesday submitted his opinion that she was capable of making decisions for her own well being. This saves me from having to convince the court to grant my guardianship. Now mom just signs it over to me. She has said on several occasions that she's comfortable with me making decisions for her. I wish I were a fraction as comfortable with it.
Next up, I have to find a family lawyer, because the one I'm working with is an estate lawyer and evidently they can't cross jurisdictions. Drawing up the papers myself is an option but meeting with the lawyer the first time was such a load off my mind that I would much rather at least have council for the divorce.
Moma just walked up and handed me a little red heart ornament she made at "DCHI" for me and Shan. (What's that? I think now she's muttering about chocolate.) Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I bought her a big glittery heart card, I should run out and get some candy too. Not sure how to make it happy for her with all that's going on and Dad still in the house. I, ironically, am going to the shooting range in the morning and closing at work. Maybe after work I'll make a strawberry champagne sangria...
Jocelyn this is beautiful.. I'm not going to try to pretend I "know what it's like," because I don't at all, but my eyes have been opened a lot in the last year or so through my job to how involved and emotional being a caregiver to a loved one can be. I can tell just from reading this that your mother is lucky to have you. That is a huge responsibility and you seem to be wise beyond your years in handling it. You have both my prayers and respect. Please keep writing!
ReplyDeleteThanks Anna! I look forward to any input you might have with your experiences.
DeleteJocelyn,
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful! Thank you for sharing this blog. This is a wonderful, general; yet, inspirational insight into your life and Melinda's. Thank you. :) May God continue to bless you in your journey to be my sister's "voice" and helper; may He give you wisdom, understanding, and peace through the tough times, strength to stand, and direction in times of chaos. I love you and pray for you daily! :)