Uncomfortably Numb

Sometimes it is hard to tell if numbness is a blessing or a curse.  Calluses are often necessary blessings for protecting sensitive areas from frequent irritation and often times I think emotional calluses are very helpful in similar ways.  Other kinds of numbing scare me though.  Some of my residents at work have numbing in their limbs, especially feet, due to diabetes and other.  Mom, also, experiences a good deal of numbness and stiffness in her feet and legs from the nerves slowly loosing contact with the rest of the body.  Those kinds of numbness are especially dangerous because as the nerves die you are less and less aware of what is going on around that body part.  There is an increased chance that something can wound that body part and it go on unnoticed until it becomes a serious problem.  This is why so many of the people I work with are missing limbs.  

Emotional numbing can work like that as well.  The good calluses aren’t always on the surface caused by irritants.  Numbness can form deep within from wounds and other afflictions and the hurting becomes so normal in life that a person can stop noticing that part of their life until it festers so badly that it threatens the entire body.  Sometimes amputation is necessary to protect the lives threatened.  Thankfully, not being any sort of physician that is not my call to make. However I imagine that divorce is probably just one of the ways of amputating an affected body part. 

We’re probably all a little numb to parts of us, as is normal.  After all, we don’t constantly notice the feel of our socks as we walk across the parking lot late for work, only when it’s drawn to our attention. Likewise, tumors often need to become quite large to cause pain.  I worry when I become too numb though.  It is easy for me to just shut off the emotion in parts of my life.  I find myself more likely to act recklessly in certain areas and less likely to notice wounds inflicted on myself and others.  Catching myself wanting to tell others to “suck it up and deal” when they have life problems is probably a good indication that there is something more than a casual callus on that aspect of life.

 In a young Indiana Jones movie Indy goes undercover during WWI and is offered a pair of “spy shoes” with a switch blade in the tip for easy access.  The knife causes him a good deal of comedic trouble by coming out at the wrong times and tripping him up.  Imagine walking in those shoes with numb legs and feet though.  As clumsy as I am I would probably strip myself and anyone I’m walking near of our Achilles tendons.   People, myself included, can be like that emotionally too.  

How do you keep from getting numb?  I can’t pretend to answer that for other people. I suppose being aware of the numbness is the first step in avoiding hurting other people.  At the same time, there are things that are poison to us and cause numbness; emotional equivalents of eating poorly for diabetics.  I remember spending most of my teen years trying to follow the diet prescribed in Philippians 4:8.   “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things”  

It’s surprising how well it’s kept the rest of my emotional ailments from going out of control. There are many sayings of similar nature in most religions and philosophies though few people, regardless of faith, pay attention to them. 

In the last few months Shannon, I, and a few people at day care have been reminding mom to think positively about life.  I’ve never seen anything make as big of a difference as I’ve seen in her since she started trying to focus on the good in life.  Right now I think she’s doing better than me.  To any one whom I’ve stabbed in the heel today, I apologize.  I’m gonna go run now and dull my knives on the pavement.